The Cousin of the Rabbit
by This Annoying Shit
Summary: OH NOES! Tyki has kidnapped Lavi's cousin Keiji! Whatever shall happen! And why are Kanda and Allen MAKING OUT! O0O Crackfic, Warning: May cause intense pain from laughing. I had to stop thrice to finish the first chap. R&R and I'll make a Cameo anywhere


"Owww..." Two forms lay on the floor of the black order hall. On the bottom was a young man in a kimono with red hair and hair clips keeping his bangs back. One of his small wings was bent at a horrible angle and was currently digging into the skin of none other than Tyki Mikk. What was a Noah dong in Black Order HQ? Well, causing mischief of course, you silly gooses! (Tyki: Gooses is not a word, Raving. Me: Shut up, Tyki.) Well, at that very moment, Lavi had decided to run down the hall that the two were currently sprawled in, trying to find the source of the ultra girly scream that had come from the general direction of the two.

"MIIIKKK!" Lavi bellowed, sounding like a crazy gorilla, pulling out his hammer. "GET OF MY COUSIN, YOU PERVERT!" Tyki, who was obviously NOT wanting to get a thrashing from a pissed Usagi (Me: we all know Tyki loves getting the shit beat out of him by lavi~ ^J^) had decided to take a hostage. Picking up the still unconscious red-head he'd crashed into, he held him in his arms. The kimono the boy wore rode up a bit, revealing long, creamy, feminine legs. The large bow that was on his back was in danger of comiing undone and letting the already loose kimono to fall off his thin form. Okay, NOW Lavi was royally pissed off. Tyki was crossing the line if he had even LOOKED at his cousin, but now he was touching him, and DAMMIT Keiji looked so suggestive in his unconcious state and dressed state. If one had to say it, Lavi had the "FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" face and Tyki had the "TROLL" face (Me: I am seriously imagining this. GOD DAMMIT, TYKI, WHY U LOOK HOT IN ANY FACE?).

"Put the hammer down, Usagi-chan and I'll (consider) giving you you're (sexy) cousin back." He said. Lavi was hesitant, but shrunk the hammer and put it into it's holster. Then Tyki ran down the hallway laughing like a pure idiot and had an angry rabbit chasing him again.

"MIIKKK! GET BACK HEEERRREEE!" Lavi roared, this time sounding like Godzilla (due to international copyright laws, I do not own godzilla. He blongs to whoever the hell made him up). Any finders in the hall scattered from the now panicking Noah and the pissed rabbit. Tyki then did something unorthodox. He jumped out of a window. He thought he was safe until a wall was sent towards him, followed by Lavi AND Allen (WHAT IS IT WITH THE UKE ATTACKS? Oh, wait, Allen belongs to Kanda). They, i.e. Lavi, chased Tyki. Kanda had grabbed Allen and begna dragging him to his room, where we all know what they're going to do*eyebrow swaggle*. Tyki finally got into the Noah's ark, barely avoiding Lavi's hammer. Before the door that had been opened by Road closed completely, Lavi could be heard swearing like a sailor at Tyki. Road blinked at her uncle, noticing the boy in her Uncle's arms.

"Who's that, Uncle Tyki?" She asked, licking the lollipop in her hands.

"The usagi's cousin." Road paled.

"You're so fucking dead." She stated. Sheryl appeared, looking horrified.

"ROAD! WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT WORD?" He demanded. Road gave him a blank "WTF" stare.

"Jasdebi." She stated.

"THEY'RE DEAD!" Sheryl roared, sounding like a really pissed off Gorilla-godzilla baby (wow, no idea where that came from. o.o). Tyki just put on a blank face before walking towards his room, where he'd be keeping the boy. He blinked, looking down when he felt some fabric against hi hand rushto the side. Looking behind him, the obi had come undone and let the Kimono slip open, revealing a tight pair of biker shorts. God, he barely knew this kid, but damn, Tyki was in love with him!

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What Kanda and Allen had been doing in Kanda's room~ (I'm a fucking perv~) :

YAOI. dON'T LIKE, DON'T FUCKING READ THIS PART.

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Allen cried out, arching against Kanda. The samurai smirked, thrusting harder into his smaller lover. Reaching a hand between them, Kanda began pummping Allen's neglected erection. He nipped and sucked at Allen's neck, leaving hickeys. The combined pleasures made the coil in Allen's stomach tighten painfully.

"K-Kanda...I-I'm gonna- A-A-AHHHH!" Allen cried out, feeling the coil snap as he came onto his and Kanda's chests. When Allen's inner walls clamped down on him, Kanda couldn't handle it and came deep inside his lover, moaning Allen's name as he did so. Kanda pulled out from Allen, who whined slightly but shivered from being cold. Laying next to him, Kanda grabbed his blanket and pulled it over them, snuggling next to Allen.

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O-O DA FUCK DID I WRITE? Well, this shits on crack, no doubt. Read and Review if you liked this, and if you read and review, I'll even make a special appearance anywhere you want! :D


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